The Sims 4 Articles

Platonic Romance in The Sims 4? It’s Possible!

Thanks to the separation of the friendship and romance bars in The Sims 4, many Simmers are aware of the wide variety of relationships Sims can have with each other. These relationships can sometimes be hilariously strange, like romantic partners who can’t stand each other as friends, or the classic “friends with benefits” dynamic.

But did you know about the possibility of platonic romance? In other words, a romance that has no WooHoo-ish aspect to it. This relationship dynamic also works well for best friends who are very comfortable being affectionate with one another but aren’t interested in becoming a romantic couple.

It’s actually quite easy to create this unique relationship in the game with no mods or cheats. Simply take a pair of Sims who are close friends or BFFs, get them into the appropriate mood for flirtation, and start using some of the lighter romantic socials, like Ask if Single, Compliment Appearance, and Flirt.

So what’s the trick here? How do you keep things innocent and sweet without taking it too far? Eventually, two options will open up in the Romance category once the romantic relationship bar is high enough; First Kiss and Ask to be BF/GF. Do not initiate either of these socials. In fact, pretend they’re just not there in the pie menu at all. Continue using the other romantic socials, instead.

The technical explanation behind this is the First Kiss and Ask to be BF/GF socials are considered milestone socials. Sims won’t initiate either of these socials autonomously because both of these socials change the relationship status. Once the First Kiss has happened, Sims stop being friends and become Romantic Interests. The First Kiss social also opens up more serious romantic socials, like Kiss, Make Out, and WooHoo. Never initiating a First Kiss never opens up these more heated romantic socials. Asking a Sim to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, of course, changes the relationship to a romantic one rather than a friendship.

So, in practice, if you have a pair of friends with a high romance bar who’ve never shared a First Kiss or asked to become a couple, they can be completely in love and display gestures of affection towards each other but remain close friends.

This is a great gameplay tip for storytellers or any Simmers looking to explore more unique relationships between their Sims.

About the author


I'm a 27-year-old author and Sims-addict based in Canada. I've been a diehard Simmer since it all started back in 2000 and I'll be focusing on providing you with some great tips and tricks to get the most out of your Simming experience here on SC. When I'm not Simming, I'm writing my next novel. To date, I've published The Heaven Corporation and am working on its sequel.


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  • Does this really work? I’ve tried doing this with multiple sims and their relationship still changes to romantic interest, what am I doing wrong?

    • Have the Sims ever kissed on the lips? If so, that will change the relationship. Sims with high romance will have a romantic listing if you scroll over the relationship panel but if they have never kissed, agreed to a committed relationship, or WooHoo’d, they should also remain friends and will not try to do those things autonomously.

      I have noticed that these rules are bypassed if your Sims are in a club where one of the club activities is to be romantic and/or woohoo with other Sims. In that scenario, all romantic options open up regardless of the Sims’ relationship with each other. They will do these things autonomously in order to adhere to the club rules and if that happens, then they will lose their status as friends.