Ever since the release of The Sims 4: Lovestruck, players have been trying to discern exactly how the Sims 4 Attraction system works since it has added multiple layers to your Sims’ romantic relationships. While The Sims 2 previously included Chemistry, a system where two turn-ons and one turn-off for each sim would sway their attraction level with others, The Sims 4 previously did not take into account physical, emotional, or mental characteristics of Sims when their relationships were developing.
Adding in Turn-Ons, Turn-Offs, Romantic Satisfaction, Romantic Dynamics, and even Romantic Boundaries has led to both more realistic and more messy relationships. While the overall relationship score is still mutual between sims, they can now have differing levels of satisfaction in their relationship or clashing romantic dynamics or boundaries, leading to varying levels of happiness between the sims.
Table of Contents
The Sims 4 Attraction System
With The Sims 4: Growing Together, Sims had Social Compatibility and Family Dynamics, which gauged how well they would get along as family members and friends. This added some differences in romantic relationships with married couples, as they could have family dynamics since they were considered family members.
However, The Sims 4 Lovestruck added The Sims 4 Attraction system which indicates your Sims’ autonomous behaviors, how well they romantically mesh with other sims, what interactions they prefer, and so much more! While the Sims 1 and the Sims 3 did not contain a similar feature, the system seems to be based off of The Sims 2’s Chemistry system, which worked similarly but only included two turn-ons and one turn-off per sim.
Like the Chemistry system, Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs are not the only things that contribute to your sims level of attraction to another sim, or how attracted other sims are to your sim. The level of attraction takes multiple factors into account to calculate how easily the sims will interact positively with each other, which is also influenced by things like lot traits, mood-enhancing objects, the current mood between the two sims, and the exact tone of the conversation.
Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs
Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs in the Sims 4 Attraction system are organized in Create-A-Sim and In-Game by six categories; Way of Life, Characteristics, Romance Style, Hair Color, Outfit Color, and Fashion. These are either chosen in Create-a-Sim, changed at the mirror using the “Change Sim” interaction, and developed through gameplay similarly to the Sims 4: Growing Together Self Discovery traits system.
When developing through gameplay, you may get pop-ups while your sim is interacting with others, asking if they like or dislike certain traits. While any category can be triggered, many of them will be influenced by specific interactions and often change how your Sims feel about different Ways of Life or Characteristics rather than physical features.
Townies and Pre-Made Sims will not develop any of these turn-ons or turn-offs until they are played or interacted with by the playable household. How their turn-ons and turn-offs develop is random and often based on the actual Sim(s) they’re interacting with.
Way of Life
A Sims Way of Life is an overall look at their lifestyle, assets, traits, and skills. While it varies from Sim-to-Sim and many can fall into more than one category, they can heavily influence The Sims 4 Attraction system based on how each sim feels about the other sims lifestyle.
Since Ways of Life are based often on traits, skills, careers, and personal details, they can’t be discerned during a first introduction. This means that your Sims attraction and even romantic compatibility will shift as they learn more about each other.
This also means that two sims who know each other very well can have heavy shifts in their relationship as their preferences change or their lives change. One spouse in a married couple can become more or less attracted to their spouse because of them excelling in a new hobby or career, a large change in their net worth, and so much more. This allows for built-in storytelling, even if it isn’t exactly player-controlled.
Skill-Based
Skill-Based ways of life are influenced by what skills a sim has, how high their level(s) is/are, and how many of skills in a certain category they have.
Academic – Archaeology, Gemology, Logic, Research & Debate, Selvadoradian Culture, Thanatology, Vampire Lore- Arts & Crafts – Cross-Stitching, Flower Arranging, Knitting, Painting, Photography, Pottery, Tattooing
- Culinary – Baking, Cooking, Gourmet Cooking
- Drink Making – Juice Fizzing, Mixology, Nectar Making
- Engineering – Fabrication, Handiness, Rocket Science, Robotics
- Health & Sports – Bowling, Fitness, Skiing, Snowboarding, Rock Climbing, Wellness
Highly Skilled – Three of the Sims skills are Level 8 or Higher.
Interpersonal – Charisma, Medium, Parenting, Romantic- Media & Technology – Entrepreneur, Media Production, Programming, Video Gaming
Nature – Fishing, Gardening, Herbalism, Riding, Veterinarian- Performer – Acting, Dancing, DJing, Guitar, Piano, Pipe Organ, Singing
Academic – Archaeology, Gemology, Logic, Research & Debate, Selvadoradian Culture, Thanatology, Vampire Lore
Arts & Crafts – Cross-Stitching, Flower Arranging, Knitting, Painting, Photography, Pottery, Tattooing
Drink Making – Juice Fizzing, Mixology, Nectar Making
Engineering – Fabrication, Handiness, Rocket Science, Robotics
Health & Sports – Bowling, Fitness, Skiing, Snowboarding, Rock Climbing, Wellness
Highly Skilled – Three of the Sims skills are Level 8 or Higher.
Interpersonal – Charisma, Medium, Parenting, Romantic
Media & Technology – Entrepreneur, Media Production, Programming, Video Gaming
Nature – Fishing, Gardening, Herbalism, Riding, Veterinarian
Performer – Acting, Dancing, DJing, Guitar, Piano, Pipe Organ, SingingNet Worth & Employment
- Broke – Sims total net worth is under §10,000
- Career-Minded – Sims career level is 7 or higher
- Wealthy – Sims total net worth is over §500,000
- Self-Employed – Sim is employed in a work-from-home or freelancing career.
- Slacker – Sim has the “Lazy” trait AND/OR is Unemployed.
Broke – Sims total net worth is under §10,000
Career-Minded – Sims career level is 7 or higher
Wealthy – Sims total net worth is over §500,000
Self-Employed – Sim is employed in a work-from-home or freelancing career.
Slacker – Sim has the “Lazy” trait AND/OR is Unemployed.Marital Status
- Taken – Sim is already in an active romantic relationship, is engaged, or is married.
Taken – Sim is already in an active romantic relationship, is engaged, or is married.Characteristics
Characteristics take a Sims traits, likes & dislikes, and lifestyles (Introduced with The Sims 4: Snowy Escape) into account when calculating The Sims 4 Attraction system. Like Ways of Life, these will influence a Sims relationship once they learn enough about one another.
- Ambitionless
- Traits: Slob, Professional Slacker, Lazy
- Ambitious
- Traits: Ambitious, Overachiever, Generous
- Argumentative
- Traits: Evil, Hotheaded, Mean
- Likes: Debating
- Artsy
- Traits: Art Lover, Creative, Music Lover
- Likes: Acting, Guitar, Painting, Photography, Piano, Pipe Organ, Singing, Tattooing, Writing, Violin
- Cerebral
- Traits: Bookworm, Geek, Genius, Wise, Macabre
- Likes: Video Gaming, Rocket Science, Robotics
- Lifestyles: Techie
- Clean
- Traits: Neat, Squeamish
- Egotistical
- Traits: High Maintenance, Materialistic, Nosy, Self-Absorbed, Shady, Snob
- Emotional Decision Makers
- Traits: Erratic, Hot-Headed, Jealous, Noncommittal, Paranoid
- Family Motivated
- Traits: Childish, Family-Oriented, Loyal, Child of The Village
- Funny
- Traits: Cringe, Goofball
- Likes: Comedy
- Hardworking
- Traits: Ambitious, Neat, Overachiever, Perfectionist
- Likes: Handiness
- Lifestyles: Workaholic
- High Energy
- Traits: Active, Adventurous, Dance Machine
- Likes: Bowling, Dancing, Fitness, Rock Climbing, Skiing, Snowboarding
- Lifestyles: Adrenaline Seeker, Coffee Fanatic, Frequent Traveler, Energetic
- Homebody
- Traits: Bookworm, Clumsy, Geek, Lazy, Loner, Romantically Reserved, Socially Awkward
- Likes: Baking, Cooking, Cross Stitching, Knitting, Video Gaming, Writing
- Lifestyles: Sedentary
- Messy
- Traits: Glutton, Slob
- Nature Enthusiast
- Traits: Child of the Islands, Child of the Ocean, Child of the Village, Freegan, Green Fiend, Loves Outdoors, Recycle Disciple
- Likes: Fishing, Gardening, Wellness
- Lifestyles: Outdoorsy
- Optimistic
- Traits: Ambitious, Cheerful, Generous, Good, Idealist
- Pessimistic
- Traits: Evil, Gloomy, Hates Children, Jealous, Macabre, Noncommittal, Paranoid, Skeptical, Unflirty
- Pet Enthusiast
- Traits: Animal Enthusiast, Cat Lover, Dog Lover, Horse Lover, Rancher
- Spirited
- Traits: Bro, Chased by Death, Cheerful, Child of the Village, Cringe, Insider, Lovebug, Outgoing, Party Animal, Romantic, Self-Assured
- Likes: Acting, Dancing, DJing, Mixology, Singing
- Lifestyles: People Person
Ambitionless
Ambitious
Argumentative
Artsy
Cerebral
Clean
Egotistical
Emotional Decision Makers
Family Motivated
Funny
Hardworking
High Energy
Homebody
Messy
Nature Enthusiast
Optimistic
Pessimistic
Pet Enthusiast
Spirited
Romance Styles
Romance Styles indicate how a sim likes to interact in their romantic relationships. Once a Sim likes or dislikes a certain romance style, they can gain more or less relationship progress and romantic satisfaction when doing or receiving these interactions. Interactions may also be renamed or new ones may appear based on traits, progression of romance, and certain situations. For example, Sims who are Unflirty may say “Feebly Ask on a Date” instead of just “Ask on a Date”.
- Affection – Under the “Romantic”/”Affection” category in the interactions pie menu.
- Examples include Confess Attraction, Look Deeply Into Eyes, Whisper Sweet Nothings, etc.
Flirting – Under the “Romantic”/”Flirt” category in the interactions pie menu.
- Examples include Flirt, Compliment Appearance, Offer Rose, etc.
- Gift Giving – Under the “Romantic”/”Affection” category in the interactions pie menu, action is “Give a Romantic Gift”.
- Physical Intimacy – Under the “Romantic”/”Physical Intimacy” category in the interactions pie menu.
- Examples include Embrace, Hold Hands, Kiss, Make Out, etc.
- Woohoo – Under the “Romantic”/”Physical Intimacy” category in the interactions pie menu OR can be initiated by clicking on a woohoo-compatible object.
- Examples include “Woohoo” and “Try for Baby”, as well as “Woohoo/Try for Baby in [Woohoo-Compatible Object]”.
Affection – Under the “Romantic”/”Affection” category in the interactions pie menu.
Flirting – Under the “Romantic”/”Flirt” category in the interactions pie menu.
Gift Giving – Under the “Romantic”/”Affection” category in the interactions pie menu, action is “Give a Romantic Gift”.
Physical Intimacy – Under the “Romantic”/”Physical Intimacy” category in the interactions pie menu.
Woohoo – Under the “Romantic”/”Physical Intimacy” category in the interactions pie menu OR can be initiated by clicking on a woohoo-compatible object.
Hair Color
Hair color is fairly self-explanatory and is a physical trait that influences a sims initial attraction when meeting others since it is immediately evident. The Sims 4 Attraction system takes this into account but it has little influence compared to more internal attraction traits. While some turn-ons for this category are specific to one hair, certain ones contain multiple hair swatches available.
- Black Hair
- Brown Hair
- Auburn Hair
- Red Hair
- Orange Hair
- Blonde Hair
- Platinum Hair
- White Hair
- Dark Blue Hair
- Gray Hair
- Green Hair
- Hot Pink Hair
- Purple Pastel Hair
- Turquoise Hair
Black Hair
Brown Hair
Auburn Hair
Red Hair
Orange Hair
Blonde Hair
Platinum Hair
White Hair
Dark Blue Hair
Gray Hair
Green Hair
Hot Pink Hair
Purple Pastel Hair
Turquoise HairOutfit Color
Outfit color, like hair color, is something indicated to Sims during their first introduction and does not heavily influence their attraction once the Sims get to know each other better. While what exact color something is may vary person to person, a good way to organize it is based on the Create-A-Sim filter categories for colors of clothing.
- Black Clothes
- Blue Clothes
- Brown Clothes
- Gray Clothes
- Green Clothes
- Orange Clothes
- Pink Clothes
- Purple Clothes
- Red Clothes
- White Clothes
- Yellow Clothes
Black Clothes
Blue Clothes
Brown Clothes
Gray Clothes
Green Clothes
Orange Clothes
Pink Clothes
Purple Clothes
Red Clothes
White Clothes
Yellow ClothesFashion
Fashion type, similarly to outfit color, is based on the Create-A-Sim filters that sort items based on the fashion category they’re registered as. Like other physical features, this does not heavily influence attraction once Sims know each other well.
- Basics
- Boho
- Costumes
- Country
- Hipster
- Outdoorsy
- Polished
- Preppy
- Rocker
- Streetwear
Basics
Boho
Costumes
Country
Hipster
Outdoorsy
Polished
Preppy
Rocker
StreetwearRomantic Satisfaction
Romantic Satisfaction works in tandem with The Sims 4 Attraction system and will ultimately influence how your Sims romantic relationship(s) develop, how long they last, and if they will end or not. Satisfaction will influence romantic relationship increase or decay, your sims moodlets, and their autonomous behavior. Satisfaction also varies between Sims, meaning that one partner could be very satisfied with the relationship, while other is considering breaking up or getting divorced.
Satisfaction is based on multiple factors, but is primarily influenced by The Sims 4 Attraction system. When both sims are very attracted to each other, are recognizing and performing each other’s romantic styles, and have a good romance and/or family dynamic, they will typically be happy in their relationship.
There are five levels to Romantic Satisfaction…
- Very Satisfied – Sims who are very satisfied in their romantic relationship will be happy around their partner, have better success with romantic interactions with their partner, and the romantic relationship will slowly increase overtime.
- Satisfied – Sims who are satisfied in their romantic relationship will be happy around their partner or when thinking of them.
- Fine – Completely neutral. No gain nor decrease in relationship. Sims may more easily slip into being unsatisfied or satisfied in their relationship.
- Unsatisfied – Sims who are unsatisfied in their romantic relationship may become sad around their partner and may struggle with romantic interactions.
- Very Unsatisfied – Sims who are very unsatisfied in their relationship will also be sad, but they will also have conflicts much more with their partner. This can occur both intentionally via the player choosing these actions, or autonomously. You will typically know when a sim is very unsatisfied because that partner will warn the other sim that they aren’t happy with the relationship, and will threaten to break up or divorce.
- Sims who are very unsatisfied in their relationship will autonomously break up with or divorce their partner after four consecutive breaks in their romantic trust. This includes being mean/arguing, cheating on them and getting caught, and breaking their Romantic Boundaries.
Very Satisfied – Sims who are very satisfied in their romantic relationship will be happy around their partner, have better success with romantic interactions with their partner, and the romantic relationship will slowly increase overtime. 
Satisfied – Sims who are satisfied in their romantic relationship will be happy around their partner or when thinking of them.
Fine – Completely neutral. No gain nor decrease in relationship. Sims may more easily slip into being unsatisfied or satisfied in their relationship. 
Unsatisfied – Sims who are unsatisfied in their romantic relationship may become sad around their partner and may struggle with romantic interactions.
Very Unsatisfied – Sims who are very unsatisfied in their relationship will also be sad, but they will also have conflicts much more with their partner. This can occur both intentionally via the player choosing these actions, or autonomously. You will typically know when a sim is very unsatisfied because that partner will warn the other sim that they aren’t happy with the relationship, and will threaten to break up or divorce.
Romantic Boundaries
Romantic Boundaries, either chosen in Create-A-Sim (Under the sim information panel that also include Gender and Sexual Orientation settings) or changed through gameplay, influence what causes your sim or their partner to feel jealousy. These include…
- Non-Physical Romance – Flirting, Affection, etc.
- Physical Romance – Hugging, Kissing, etc.
- Woohoo – Woohoo, Try for Baby, etc.
- Whether or not these boundaries can be changed through talking about them with other sims.
In gameplay, you can ask a romantic partner to reconsider a certain boundary, with a cooldown occurring for all reconsideration interactions whether they decide to or not. This interaction to reconsider a Romantic Boundary has to be done individually for each type of Romantic Boundary, and Sims will generally feel jealous for each type of interaction by default.
The addition of romantic boundaries has opened a door for many new types of families and gameplay styles, with the sims and their love lives being freer than ever!
Romantic Dynamics
Romantic Dynamics function similarly to Family Dynamics introduced with Sims 4: Growing Together, and often work in tandem when Sims are married. Romantic Dynamics can be chosen in Create-A-Sim or can be changed throughout gameplay, with the game prompting you on whether or not you’d like that change. Romantic Dynamics include…
- Steamy – The Sims gain the most satisfaction from Physical Intimacy and Woohoo, become very flirty, and the relationship primarily revolves around Physical Intimacy and Woohoo.
- Strained – The Sims are still romantically involved but they often fight, usually have lower satisfaction, and are more likely to break up or divorce autonomously. They often will stay distant and avoid interactions, or even seek out negative interactions with each other.
- Unpredictable – Back-and-Forth, may be fighting one minute and woohooing the next. Both the satisfaction and the relationship progress waver as the waters are rocky in this relationship.
- Wholesome – The Sims have a deep connection, both romantically and platonically. They feel happier around each other, have higher satisfaction, and will feel more fulfilled in their relationship. It’s the definition of being in a relationship with your best friend, even if your sims don’t have the Best Friends Forever relationship bit.
Steamy – The Sims gain the most satisfaction from Physical Intimacy and Woohoo, become very flirty, and the relationship primarily revolves around Physical Intimacy and Woohoo. 
Strained – The Sims are still romantically involved but they often fight, usually have lower satisfaction, and are more likely to break up or divorce autonomously. They often will stay distant and avoid interactions, or even seek out negative interactions with each other. 
Unpredictable – Back-and-Forth, may be fighting one minute and woohooing the next. Both the satisfaction and the relationship progress waver as the waters are rocky in this relationship. 
Wholesome – The Sims have a deep connection, both romantically and platonically. They feel happier around each other, have higher satisfaction, and will feel more fulfilled in their relationship. It’s the definition of being in a relationship with your best friend, even if your sims don’t have the Best Friends Forever relationship bit. Romantic Dynamics will cause intense fluctuations in your Sims relationships as a single relationship can have every dynamic throughout the lifespan of the relationship or the Sims involved, or even no dynamic at all! Sims without a relationship dynamic will have standard
If your sims are struggling romantically after the introduction of these systems, make sure to check out our guide on Cupid’s Counseling to bring them back together!
What are your thoughts on these systems; Do you enjoy the extra challenge and feel like it makes relationships more dynamic, or do you prefer the original way they worked?
